This essay is a self-reflexive critique that interrogates the corporate deployment of sacred Indian ethical concepts—karuṇā (boundless compassion), sevā (embodied relational service), and samṛddhi (ethically conditioned flourishing)—within the assemblages of philanthro-capitalism, particularly through the Gandhi Foundation and CSR initiatives linked to Ajay Piramal. Drawing on Deleuze and Guattari’s schizoanalysis, it traces how these terms, deterritorialized from Buddhist, Bhakti, Gandhian, and epic traditions, are reterritorialized as branded values that legitimize accumulation while masking asymmetries of power, dispossession, and structural harm—most poignantly exemplified by the author’s lived experience of financial violence in the DHFL collapse. Through philological excavation, ontological reflection (via the Aupaniṣadika two-birds metaphor), and a Kafkaesque plea for coherence before the Supreme Court, the text demands philosophical vigilance: whether ethical rhetoric can coexist with praxis that disperses risk downward and concentrates prosperity upward, or if such invocation fractures the triad, reducing compassion to optics, service to branding, and prosperity to unchecked growth. Ultimately, it calls not for condemnation but for symmetry—where sacred words, once uttered, become answerable to those wounded by the very systems they adorn.