This letter—framed in reverent satire and historical dismay—is addressed to the Hon’ble President of India, Supreme Custodian of Sanskar and Semiotics. It interrogates the symbolic glorification of sindoor as a sacred index of Hindu marital tradition, tracing its semiotic genealogy not to divine scripture alone, but to prehistoric violence and patriarchal subjugation, as hauntingly narrated in Parasuram’s Siddhinather Pralap. The letter juxtaposes this origin with contemporary attempts at cultural homogenization under the banner of Hindu Rashtra and the proposed Uniform Civil Code. By weaving in regional, textual, and ritual variations in sindoor’s usage across India and the diaspora, the writers raise a paradox: How can a nation legislate uniformity on a symbol so unevenly practiced and so deeply soaked—historically and metaphorically—in blood, ritual, and patriarchy? Through a blend of scholarly citations, epical references, and biting irony, this letter serves as both a cultural critique and an epistemic protest against symbolic violence dressed as civilizational virtue.